A Natalie Portman Spread

Wanna see Natalie Portman’s Marie Claire photo shoot pics?

I’m willing to overlook the Crest White Strips aspect of this photo and call it good.

Very Ralph Lauren. Very Hollywood young person. Very…standard.

Augh! She’s being attacked by the hair monster! And she pinned shut that sheet she’s wearing with a bloody dish towel! And I’ve stared at this photo long enough that it looks like her face was surgically transplanted on her head!

OK, so most of the pictures were normal, glamorous, flattering. At least as flattering as a photo of Natalie Portman can be. I’ll admit it. I’m the only guy in the world who thinks Natalie Portman is unattractive. There, I said it. To me, she kind of has…a man face. Or maybe it’s her large mouth. Or the fact that I still haven’t gotten over that time she shaved her head.

Anyway, most of the photos were your standard Marie Claire lookin’-good shots. Then there was this beauty:

Say whaa?

This might be appropriate if Nat was endorsing Lucky Charms on St. Patrick’s Day in Disney World on the Peter Pan ride, but to my knowledge she isn’t. If this is someone’s effort at a high fashion version of a forest pixie from Neverland modeling one of Queen Elizabeth’s hats, it’s totally working for me. Alas, I doubt that was the artistic vision for this shoot, but I feel like I might have a future in fashion.

So while I log off to research how one becomes Creative Director of anything, please enjoy these last few shots of Ms. Portman.

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~ by adamevans on December 3, 2009.